Many parents want to do whats right-but when they turn to the experts, they get conflicting advice. One day researchers indicate that it is ok to punish your child for misbehaving;the next day, they indicate that it is never ok to punish your child. What should a parent do when it seems like even the experts cannot make up their mind?

           This is a very controversial topic, and there really is no right answer (because it is the opinion of the individual) when it comes to discussing whether or not a parent should punish their child for misbehaving. This has to do a lot with the culture the parent(s) were raised in and/or come from. Each culture has their own form of dealing with these types of problems. (There are certain norms that most people tend to follow.)

            I personally believe that it is okay for a parent to punish their child for misbehaving. As long as the punishment is reasonable and the parent explains (that way the child understands what is going on) why the child is being punished, then there should be no problem. For example if your toddler is in the store with you and takes a toy from the store (meaning that the toy was not paid for) even after you had told them not to take it, then you can correct this type of behavior by sitting down and talking to them. You must explain why it was wrong and the consequences that they could face. The child will begin to understand why they should not behave in that manner, and they will remember the next time.

 The only problem that can arise is if the child is constantly being punished for small mistakes and or behaviors. If this is the case then the parent(s) and the child should sit own to talk and come to an agreement to attempt to correct the behavior.

            Another problem that may arise from these types of situations is that the type of punishment that is being inflicted is violent. I am strongly against violence, especially if it is being used to correct behavior. There is no need to inflict trauma upon a child in order to try and correct their behavior, doing this may be detrimental to them in the long run.

            Once again, I would like to clarify that there really is no right or wrong answer here. This is my personal opinion and I hope that it can serve as a guideline or reference, but it does not mean that this is the only way that it can be done. There are numerous other ways to teach children right from wrong, this is simply one of them.

What Are The Best Ways to Deal with Temper Tantrums?

It’s the terrible twos, ever wonder why they’re called that? Well it’s not just an exaggeration. Kids at that age can sometimes be difficult to handle but if you take a deep breath and have just a little bit of patience then that year and the ones coming may not be so terrible. Children, especially toddlers, are known to throw temper tantrums. There are some toddlers that do this regularly while others rarely do it, the frequency of this happening depends on the child and how the parent(s) or caregiver(s) handle it.

Why do toddlers and young kids throw temper tantrums? Toddlers especially younger ones are more likely to throw temper tantrums than older kids, this is because they are learning how to express certain emotions and feelings. Toddlers may feel overwhelmed and thus it leads them to expressing their anger, frustration, or other feelings.  Because their language has not fully developed, they may get overwhelmed and may not be able to fully express what they are feeling or what it is that they want.

The best way to deal with this is to acknowledge that mistakes happen and that they will continue to happen. Let your child know that even though they made a mistake, that it’s still okay. Also let them know what you feel and think. Teach your child other methods of releasing anger and frustration, be sure that these other methods are not violent ones.

For example show your child that instead of throwing a tantrum that they should take a deep breath, go for a walk, and try to relax.  Approaching this in a positive and calm way will lead to the best outcome.

What Activities Can I do with My Toddler to Promote Optimal Social and Emotional Development?

Before we dive into the topic, we must first understand what social and emotional development is. The definition for social and emotional development varies slightly but overall it represents a person’s ability to be able to form positive relationships with others as well as controlling their emotions, behavior, and attitude.

The emotional ties that a child forms early on help shape the rest of the relationships they will have. The strong emotional attachment that a child and their parent have is vital for the child’s development. It has been proven in many case studies where children who suffer from neglect have delayed social, emotional, and cognitive development. For example in the study conducted by Farah et al. in 2008, they proved that there was a positive correlation between long-term memory performance and paternal nurturance (Jette Hannibal 75).

 A child who lacks the strong bond with their parent will be at risk for developing attachment issues and lowering their future mental health (Jette Hannibal 76).

Depending on the individual’s culture (and many other factors), the milestones set for each infant and toddler will be different. For this example we will be looking briefly at the milestones dictated for a 6 month infants, and a 3 year old toddler. For descriptions on the different milestones that 1, 1.5, and 2 year olds are expected to reach click on the provided link below.

At 6 months:

• ·        “Knows familiar faces and begins to know if someone is a stranger
• ·        Likes to play with others, especially parents
• ·        Responds to other people’s emotions and often seems happy
• ·        Likes to look at self in mirror” (Virtuallabschool).
•  
• At 3 years old:

• ·        “Copies adults and friends
• ·        Shows affection for friends without prompting
• ·        Shows concern for a crying friend
• ·        Understands the idea of “mine” and “his” or “hers”
• ·        Shows a wide range of emotions
• ·        Separates easily from Mom and Dad
• ·        May get upset with major changes in routine” (Virtuallabschool).

Based on the chart above we can see that an infant who is 6 months old compared to a toddler who is 3 years old is expected to meet far less complex milestones. As the child grows and learns they are expected to meet more complex milestones because they build on the existing ones.

Now that we understand the consequences of a lack of social and emotional connection for children we can move on to the type of activities one can do to promote the well-being and stimulate the development of this. We can see that a child's emotional and social development are linked, they happen simultaneously. 

As a parent, one of the most important things you can do is to spend quality time with your child, let your child know that they can express how they feel freely. If your child knows this they will feel more comfortable and safe with you, it will also create a stronger bond between each other. Expressing your own feelings with them will also be a positive experience that will be shared (granted that the feelings you are expressing are positive). Showing physical affection will also create a stronger attachment and support their emotional development.

Playing with your child and going on mini-field trips will also support their social and emotional development. Play dates with other children will teach children how to create bonds among peers, and strengthens their communication skills as well.

Outside resources:

“Social-Emotional Development: Infants And Toddlers.” Virtual Lab School, www.virtuallabschool.org/infants-toddlers/social-emotional/lesson-2.

Hannibal, Jette. Psychology for the IB Diploma. Oxford University Press, 2012.

What Are Some of the Warning Signs of My Infant and My Toddler being Below Expected Cognitive Abilities?

There are certain milestones that an infant and toddler are expected to meet at certain points in their life. As it was mentioned above in the last post, the first few years mark a crucial period of cognitive development in children. Children will build more synapses as they learn new skills, this also strengthens their memory.When learning new skills, it drives children to be more curious. This curiosity often leads children to making their own little discoveries and learning more about themselves and the world that surrounds them. For example; a child playing with blocks may throw the block against the floor simply to see the object move and the sound that it makes. Another example is that  when a child passes through the door and it automatically opens the child will see it and perhaps pass multiple times just to see the door

Even though every child may develops differently, there are a few patterns that are shared among most infants and toddlers. For more information regarding this topic and the certain milestones that a child should meet at a specified age click the first link below to provide a timetable.

Some warning signs for toddlers include; “not learning gestures, being unable to recognize familiar people, and losing skills they once had.” (Virtual Lab School)Some warning signs for toddlers include; “losing skills they once had, not knowing what to do with common things, and not following simple directions.” (Virtual Lab School)Similarly if you wish to view a chart with all of the warning factors to look out for click the link provided below. There a many reasons as to why a child's cognitive development may be delayed, some of these reasons could be; hearing, language, or sight problems. However, as mentioned earlier, each child is unique and the reason listed above are not the only ones. If you are concerned with your child’s cognitive development you should act now, do not wait to go see your child’s doctor.

Outside Resources:

https://www.virtuallabschool.org/infants-toddlers/cognitive/lesson-2

What Can I Do To Best Support My Child's Language Development?

There are numerous ways in which a parent or caregiver can help their child's language development. During the first few years of a child's life, their brain "absorbs" millions of pieces of information that will be necessary for them to interpret the world around them, as well as to express their thoughts and feelings. However, this is not possible if the child's language skills are not developed to the extent that they need to be.

For the sake of this topic, and to avoid confusion, we will be identifying a toddler as any baby between 0 and 12 months, while an infant is a child between 1 and 3 years. During the first 3 years of a child's life their brain undergoes a period of rapid development. It is during this time that we can see how the child's language and thinking process progresses.

The best way you can help support your child's language development is by submerging them in a rich environment that is surrounded by learning opportunities. Language “develops best in a world that is rich with sounds, sights, and consistent exposure to the speech and language of others.” (NIDCD) By exposing your child early on to these types of things, you give your child the opportunity to hear language from other individuals as well. Talking, reading, singing, and playing with your child are among the best ways that you can help support their language development. When you interact with your child in such a way it makes learning fun and they are able to absorb new words. Limiting the amount the amount of TV or screen time that your toddler gets is also a good idea. Even though TV shows may be educational and have some beneficial aspects, they lack the interaction that a child and a caregiver or parent can have. This interaction is especially valuable for infants and young toddlers. Another technique that supports a child's language development is repetition. When you repeat what you have said or what your child has said, it gives them a chance to hear it again ,but it also teaches them the correct way of saying things.

Outside resources:

https://www.parents.com/baby/development/talking/9-ways-to-help-your-childs-language-development/

https://www.nidcd.nih.gov/health/speech-and-language